January 6, 2007: The Veranda Restaurant & Bar.

2525 W. Anderson Ln., Ste. #260
300-2660
30.35596° N, 97.73332° W

Pepper grinder rating: 0.
Men’s room rating: 2.
WiFi: No.

Dwight’s comments:

The one nice thing I can say about The Veranda is that they did a good job of accomodating us. Of course, that wasn’t hard, since the restaurant was virtually empty.

It makes me sad to know that so much money and time and talent has been invested in a place that turns out such average food. Cajun blackened pork tenderloin: good idea. But the sauce wasn’t terribly spicy, and the pasta served with the dish was basically plain boiled bowtie pasta: there wasn’t any attempt at a pasta sauce (or enough sauce on the pork tenderloin to cover the pasta as well). The appetizers are reasonably priced, but I didn’t find any of the six we got particuarly interesting. Even the location is depressing: is there anything more pathetic than a dying mall?

Sad. Just sad.

Lawrence’s comments:

Questions, questions, questions. Dining at The Veranda leaves me so many questions.

• How can you have so many things on the menu that sound so interesting, and have most of them taste so bland when they finally arrive?
• Why were the only ones in the restaurant at one point on a Saturday night? (Wait, I guess the point above answers that.)
• How can you advertize a dessert as a flambé, and then not bring it out flambé because you’re “not licensed” to do that?
• Where do you go to get a flambé license anyway?
• Where can I get the blooper reel for the flambé license final exams?
• What is that smell in the bathroom?
• What made you think this would be a successful restaurant site when a Hooters threw in the towel?
• How do they stay in business, unless the mall is providing them free rent (entirely possible) or it’s a front for something else?

The (non-flaming) Bananas Foster dessert was nice, the calamari was good, the escargot were fairly cheap (but needed more garlic), and the fries were decent. However, none of the other appetizers stuck out, and my crab-stuffed-salmon was woefully under flavored; while not “off,” it was bland enough that I wondered how fresh it was. I can well believe other dishes might be more interesting, but I didn’t hear any reports of such from my many fellow dinners. (10 in total; a big crowd this time.)

Really, A. T. nailed it when he said that there was nothing here you couldn’t have whipped up better versions of at home.

Frankly, Northcross has been a Mall of the Living Dead for almost a decade. (Dwight and I have often joked that all they need was a Scotch Tape Boutique to complete the ambiance of pathetic desperation.) Even though I don’t generally shop at Wal-Mart (they seldom have what I want), unlike certain hippies, it couldn’t help but be an improvement on what’s there now, The Veranda included.